


we hold eachother

by GarrillaGal



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Extreme spoilers, M/M, takes place after the show
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:42:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25816741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GarrillaGal/pseuds/GarrillaGal
Summary: Lances grieves over the loss of Allura while Keith hides his true feelings. Over time, the pining grows like a damn forest.Old snippets from a fic I wanted to write. This takes place soon after the end of the last season, but before the time skip.
Relationships: Allura/Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	1. conference

“She’s gone, and I can’t do anything about it,” Lance says. It’s quiet in the conference room. Just a few hours ago, it was bustling with leaders from around the universe and friends from Earth. Now, it’s still and empty with just Lance and Keith sitting next to each other. Dust circles around them in the silence. Lance continues, “I just wish… I wish it never happened. I wish we never had a war, and I wish we never went to space. I wish none of us ever met.” Keith knows the hurt he feels must be shared loss, but he feels a twinge of heartache when Lance admits it.  


“Lance, I know you don’t mean that.”  


“How do you know? You don’t know what it feels like,” he says. Keith has to take a second to bite his tongue. Back then, he would have shouted in Lance’s face on how wrong he is. But Lance is in pain. More pain is the opposite of what he needs.

“Think about everything you would have missed. What about saving the world? What about meeting all those great people in space?” Keith tries, but Lance is still tearing up. The corners of his lips curl into a frown, ready to give in to emotion. “You might not want to hear it, but you never would have met her if it wasn’t for all this.”  


“Please. Don’t,” Lance says. He lowers his head down and rubs his knuckles against the sides of his forehead. Keith takes in a breath.  


“I know it hurts. We all feel the pain of losing her, but I know you’re taking it the hardest. You guys really had something.”  


“I loved her so much,” Lance says through a gasp and he’s gone. The tears pour out and his breathing quickens. His shoulders shake from the shuddering sobs. Keith instantly rubs his hand against his back and pulls him closer. “I don’t think I could ever not feel sad. I’m always going to miss her, and it’s always going to hurt,” Lance says. He sobs with his face in his hands. Tears run down his cheeks like crystallized pain. Keith wants to wipe them away from his pretty face, but he doesn’t say anything. There’s nothing he can really say because Lance is right. This is going to hurt for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have more to post, but I wrote these so long ago. I want to edit them first. This was meant to be a super long slow-burn fic, but then I started school and sort of forgot about it. Please let me know what you think. lol I'd be suprised if there are even any more vld fans out there after that ending...


	2. lance's journal

> "August 2nd
> 
> I can't help but feel a certain loneliness even among family and friends. Thinking of Allura helps. Remembering her makes me happy now. It feels good to think of her. Keith helped me realize I should remember the good times. I miss him, too. I wonder how the relief mission is going with the Blade. It's been almost a year since he left. Shiro's also been busy. And Pidge. And Hunk. Every time I look up at the sky, I can't help but hope to see a shuttle coming down with my old friends to greet me. Although, I don't know if I'd want them to see me like this. I'm still a wreck. I haven't kept up on those face masks in a while, so my eye bags have returned. I've also been sleeping a lot more during the day. I dream a lot. Too much. I dream about her. I wish I could see her again in the waking world. At night I watch the sky. Sleep is rare at night."


	3. keith's journal

> "Day 645
> 
> The Xoskapians finally accepted our relief supplies and have cautiously invited us to a formal “Foreign Affairs Ball.” I know it sounds like they don't trust us, but can you blame them? These people were under control of one of Sendak’s commanders for two centuries. It's no wonder they don't immediately accept and welcome strangers. I just hope the Blade of Marmora can give them all the help they require.
> 
> Today was the 45th (47th?) time I caught Axca messaging Veronica on Earth. She still thinks I don't notice. I've told her a few times to be careful, but after reading a few of them, I don't think it's anything to worry about. It's not giving away our location to any local attackers, so I don't really care.
> 
> It's good to hear from Earth other than the weekly status reports from Curtis and Shiro. I don't mind them. They're just a bit… methodical? Procedural? Hearing about the McClain’s expanding farm is always nice. Apparently Lance built an edition to the farmhouse that has a roof made of glass. Veronica told Axca she catches him looking out it while lying down pretty often. I wonder how he's doing. I wonder if he's searching for someone in those galaxies."


	4. return

“He's coming  _ when? _ ” Lance stops his work to look at his sister. She bounces on her heels and twiddles her thumbs. Every word had a stroke of excitement running through it.

“Tomorrow! Can you believe it?” she says. “Axca sent me a message just a few minutes ago.”

“I thought all intergalactic messages had to be processed through the Atlas Commission first.” Veronica wrinkles her nose.

“Oh, who's gonna tell? We talk all the time, and no one's said anything,” she says. Lance gives her a skeptical look.

“All the time?” he says. Veronica manages to slap his arm before he can notice her burning red cheeks. Lance laughs. “Okay, okay. But seriously, are they really coming tomorrow? What happened to two more months?”

“Apparently Keith was able to wrangle up planet Xoskap a lot faster than they thought. They were in and out within a year.” Lance can’t help but feel excitement at the sound of his name.  _ Keith _ . It has been nearly five years since they last spoke in the conference room. Lance has been on a steady recovery since the loss of Allura, but his family has kept him company and given him love. He just can’t help but feel a certain absence with Keith away so long. He longs for a late night chat with him again.


	5. again

“He’s here! Tío, tío! It’s him, he’s here!” Marcus hops and skips around Lance’s legs like a puppy. He tries to hold in his excitement, but really he wants to join his nephew in the big smiles and jumping around.

“Woah, woah. Okay, buddy. Who’s here?” Lance says. He already has an idea, but he wants to stall. It has been almost five years, after all. People change, and Lance is afraid Keith has changed. Maybe he’s colder, angrier,  _ angstier _ . Lance can’t handle an awkward encounter. He just wants to talk like they did before Keith left.

“C’mon, no one told you I was stopping by?” a voice spoke behind them in the doorway. Lance whips around. Of course.

“Keith, you haven’t changed a bit.”

“Really? I’m not more muscular? Not… grizzlier?” he says. Lance rises from his kneel and pats Marcus on the head.

“Wow, maybe you have changed. Keith? Making jokes?” He holds out his arm to shake his hand. “Are we sure you’re not Keith’s evil twin?” Keith smiles and takes his hand. They pull into an embrace and pat each other on the back. Lance notices Keith’s hair is pulled back into a ponytail. He swallows the instinct to make fun of his mullet and they pull apart. Keith looks the same, but older. Much older. His hands are more rough than before, and new wrinkles surround his eyes. Could they be from smiling more? Lance wonders if Keith is doing better without him.

“It’s really good to see you,” Keith says. Lance shakes the idea out of his head and nods in agreement.

“It’s always good to have a fresh face around,” he says. “Let me show you around. Ma’s just about finished with dinner.”


	6. night

“We have plenty of room, Keith. Why don’t you stay the night? I make a  _ mean _ stack of pancakes every Sunday,” Lance’s mother says. Keith smiles awkwardly. Of course they would welcome him, too. Where else would he go? Axca drove here, but she was off somewhere with Veronica. He notices how Lance is quiet next to him. He plays with a single pea on his plate with a fork. Twisting it around and around.

“Oh, I shouldn’t. I don’t want to cause any trouble,” he says. Lance stabs the pea next to him and his mother rises from her seat. She grabs the empty plates around her with her meaty-mom arms.

“Nonsense! Lance, show him that new star-gazing room you built. He can sleep there,” she says. Before Keith or Lance can protest, she leaves for the kitchen.

“Ahhh, Ma. Don’t pressure him,” he says. Lance rises and follows his mother’s actions by picking up the plates around him. When he grabs Keith’s they lock eyes. Lance rolls his eyes and goes after his mom at the sink. He leaves Keith to sit with Marcus and Lily. They stare at him without saying a word.

“Um, hi. How’s it goin’?” he says, but they ignore his question.

“Why’s your hair so long?” Marcus says.

“Ah, it’s been a while since I cut it,” Keith says. Marcus had more questions, but Keith tunes his attention to Lance and his mother. They seem to be bickering.

“¿No es tu amigo?” she says.

“El es, Ma. Pero no hacemos fiestas y sleepovers.”

“¿Estás seguro de que ustedes dos no comparten un vínculo determinado?”

“Ma, stop. Please. That’s not how it works.”

“Está aquí ahora. Quizás así es como funciona ahora.” she says. Lance glances back at Keith. Keith looks away as if he wasn’t eavesdropping and smiles down at Marcus. Lily pulls his sleeve.

“Can I braid your hair?” she says. Her brown eyes glimmer with a painful sweetness.

“Um,” Keith says. He sweats at the thought of a little kid raking their fingers through his hair.

“That’s not a no!” Marcus shouts, and jumps onto Keith’s lap. Lily giggles and follows in pursuit to the back of Keith’s seat. Keith has to balance to keep Marcus on his knees and to keep Lily from falling off his back. He feels his ponytail loosen and sputter. Marcus laughs.

“You look like a girl!” he says. Keith feels his face grow hot.  _ He’s just a kid, he’s just a kid, he’s just a kid _ . Suddenly there is the sound of a dish falling into the sink. Lance approaches while wiping his hands on a dish towel.

“Now, Marcus, that’s not very nice,” he says. Marcus looks down in shame. “Keith looks like a  _ pretty _ girl.” Marcus bursts into a mad fit of laughter. Toothy smile, and all. Keith laughs along and smiles as Lily braids his hair left and right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used google translate for the Spanish part, so I apologize if it is inaccurate.


	7. galaxies

Keith shuffles against the soft blankets on the floor. It emotionally hurt when he had to take out the beautiful braid Lily did. She managed to become his personal hairstylist in one night. Axca finally showed up from upstairs an hour after dinner to tell Keith they have to stay the night. Veronica stood next to her smiling drunkenly. Now, he was alone in the large room trying to sleep on the floor beneath the stars. Keith turns on his back and looks up. He almost can’t breathe because of the view. He forgot Earth is also a part of millions of galaxies. He can see almost every twinkling star bright and clear.

After what felt like hours of staring outside, Keith hears footsteps down the hall. They got closer and closer until they were at the door. After a moment of hesitation, the person opens the door slowly. Keith turns around at the click of the doorknob.

“Hey,” he says. It’s Lance. He’s wearing slippers, flannel pajamas, and a robe. Just like always. Only this time, there is no face mask or towel in his hair. In fact, his hair is tousled from sleep - or lack thereof.

“Hey. I wasn’t sure if you’d be up,” Lance says as he closes the door behind him. Keith sits up on his elbows.

“Yeah, it’s weird to sleep on a floor that isn’t traveling at billions of miles and hour.”

“I feel you on that,” Lance says. He sits on the ground next to Keith. The room is dark, but the stars above give everything below a small glow. Keith can see a sheen of sweat on Lance’s nose reflecting the night’s light. Keith wants to ask him everything. How is he doing? What did he miss on Earth? Has it rained lately? How is he without her? But Lance seems tired. More like exhausted from something. Keith can’t help but wonder why. Lance breaks their silence without looking away from the stars.

“My family’s wrong about this room,” he says. “They always like it because they can star gaze, but that’s not what it’s for.” Keith follows his gaze up, and they look at the same galaxies together.

“What is it for?” Lance leans back on the floor and lays his hands under his head. Keith swallows.  _ He’s so close _ .

“To feel safe. I’m able to see if anyone’s attacking from above. I never thought I’d have that fear on Earth,” he says. Keith stiffens. It was a completely plausible fear. Lance is the only warrior in the household to protect his family, so he keeps a constant guard by himself. Keith had his trauma to deal with, but he was always surrounded by allies; people to rely on. Lance might be surrounded by people here, but he is somewhat alone in his fears. Keith looks down at Lance and watches his chest rise and fall slowly.

“I’m sorry it has to be that way,” he says. Lance chuckles and turns on his side.

“Don’t worry. I’m not war-crazy.”

“Lance,” Keith says. He shakes his head. “I’m serious. You’re not the only one going through post traumatic stress. It’s just like Shiro when we first saved him. We went through a lot.” Lance’s lopsided smile fades and he looks back at the sky. Keith watches him carefully. Did he strike a nerve?

“You’re right. What happened to us was really messed up.” Lance pushes himself off the ground and walks back to the door. He doesn’t look back when he says goodnight and leaves Keith in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where I stopped writing. Let me know if you want more. I'm too tired to keep going rn, so I'll say goodnight <3


End file.
